There is a widespread but mistaken belief that if women in abusive relationships would just leave, the violence would end. This leads to the always wrong question, “why doesn't she leave?” instead of “why doesn't he stop hurting her?” The reality is that leaving is the most dangerous time for a battered woman because the abuser is outraged that he is losing control over her. An impending separation or divorce often prompts renewed or first-time intimate partner sexual abuse.

For his 2006 report Separation/Divorce Sexual Assault: The Contribution of Male Support,

"[H]e would know it was getting close to the end of our relationship once again and he would [rape me]. And the whole time I would be crying, but I couldn't cry loud enough because if his parents heard us he swore he would take our children away. I know he did this when he thought I was getting ready to leave and he knew that I couldn't live without my children."

— Tina, quoted in DeKeseredy, et al., Separation/Divorce Sexual Assault: The Contribution of Male Support (2006) at 236.

"Any time I would try to leave him, the beatings or the rape would come, he would threaten my family and friends and my silence was bought once again."

— Excerpt from Froggie's story posted on Aphrodite Wounded, a website for survivors of intimate partner sexual abuse. This is a member site, but a log in may be requested at the web site.

“One night I told Richard to leave, and started packing his things. He punched and slapped me all the way to the bed, telling me that I would never get rid of him. After he raped me, he told me that he would do it again every half hour until he couldn’t get an erection anymore - or until I changed my mind about throwing him out. The choice, he said, was mine.

I sat crying. After the next half hour was up, he prepared to make good on his threat. I broke; Richard stayed.

— McOrmond-Plummer, et al, Perpetrators of Intimate Partner Violence (2016) at 100.